wow. today i learnt so much in church... well firstly there was no drummer for the first 2 songs and it was like abit wierd and i guess maybe God was kinda trying to tell the youth something? i dunno He was saying something to me anyway. like i guess sometimes the music does play too big a part for me when i worship? like i find it qt hard to really worship God when the music is not very well played tt kind. tho i know tt worship is not abt the music or wad but its so easy to think tt "oh no the music is not impt to me" until something happens like today when one part of the band was like awol and it kinda made me not able to really worship properly. forgive me Lord
 
and during cell like also learnt alot... it really was a very good session! i really do want to be someone hu can be like God and as like Jesus as possible. i know i have a long way to go but i know that i have a Father hu loves me and is willing to walk along with me all the way! and well i shared something with my cell and its like. i dunno felt like a sense of release. i guess through my sharing i myself realised somethings i din even noe...like i never really thought abt it or at least i never really wanted to and it made me face up to some things that i was hiding from myself cos i din want to think abt it. but now... i like really dunno wad to do... guess like wad chuili said i just have to pray and i guess try to get out of it? its qt scary and maybe i do need to open my eyes abit more and stop trying to hide from things i dont want to know.im like stuck now and i dunno how to get out. im so scared of the consequences if i do anything... so im like just stuck in limbo and its qt frightnening... dear Lord please show me You way...yupps anyway my cell rocks yah haha... i really cherish each and everyone of them for being there for me and praying for me too! shalom eats healthy foreva :)

another thing. i geuss today during the sermon i kinda felt God telling me saome stuff tt i have been doing which is wrong. and i guess i need to repent and ask forgiveness frm the person as well as frm God but i really dun want to leh... i wanna just ignore it but i guess when God tells u to do something u better do it :s so i will i will... just a matter of when and stuff. but i geuss tt i can really be qt evil sometimes and tho u do irritate me at times it doesnt deserve me fobbing you off all the time like that... just tt i dunno wad to say that will make u understand. haihz.

anyway yah tt sums up the lessons i learnt in church today. and i will always know hu i am in God because of days like this when he touches my heart and teaches me as well as reprimands me. just like a Father! anyway there will be ahealing service in my church on wed! come to be healed or just to see whats it like! im liek qt excited to see haha... i think it will be a real eye opener!!!

God is good all the time and all the time God is good.
i love you Jesus